It Happened One Morning: The 8th Year Itch
by Rusty Weasley
Summary: Hermione and her classmates are forced back to Hogwarts. She wonders why Ron doesn't find her sexually attractive, and more importantly, why is Draco Malfoy standing naked in front of her?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: _The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling, Scholastic and WB. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story._

_Many thanks to AnneM for agreeing to be my Beta._

**Chapter 1 **

Ron woke to the sound of someone whispering. Before he woke he was having a dream. In his dream, a girl was speaking to him softly and sweetly, and then he awoke suddenly, realizing that the whispering was coming from the heavily curtained bed next to his.

He listened for a second as the two lovers whispered, causing the ancient bedframe to squeak. He thought for a moment about telling them to shut up when he saw a long, smooth, tanned leg stick out of the curtains. It was beautiful, and Ron was instantly jealous again of the complete bastard with whom he was forced to share a tower room.

Having to deal with all of the funerals and the obligatory Ministry trials had been hard enough for him over the past couple of months, but to be forced to return to Hogwarts to face another year of classes and share a bedroom with this prat? Well, that was too much. Shacklebolt may have had some grand plan about "healing this generation" through "forging new relationships", but why in the bloody hell did the Headmistress have to put _him_ in here? He would much rather be in his old Gryffindor tower room with Harry and Neville, but no, he had to suffer in here while Harry bunked in a different room.

The leg moved a little more, curling the curtain apart. There wasn't much light in the room as the sun was just barely coming over the horizon, but Ron could make out two sets of naked hips grinding together. He was instantly aroused and mortified at the same moment. Sure, people needed comfort after the horrors of the final battle, but Merlin's beard, that didn't usually involve having sex in the boy's dormitory!

"Malfoy, at least cast a silencing charm, will you?" Ron said in a calm voice as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"What's the matter Weasel, getting all hot and bothered?" Malfoy whisked back the drapes, quickly revealing the long, slender, nude form of Parvati Patil before she squeaked and covered her dark skin with some of the bunched, snow-white covers. There was no shame in Draco's eyes as he looked at Ron, gesturing towards Parvati in an effort to prove that he had made yet another conquest. "It must suck to be a virgin."

"It must suck to be such an arsehole," Ron replied, ignoring Draco's stare and Parvati's giggles, and leaving to go to the bathroom.

He hated Draco, but he had learned that verbal sparring never ended up in his favour. Over the months of rooming together, Ron realized that Draco was no real threat to him, just more of a thorn in his side. The Malfoy family's surrender had taken a toll not only on Draco's finances, but also on his influence over people. There were no Crabbe or Goyle to back him up any longer, and Draco seemed to steer clear of most social interactions that didn't involve snogging a female classmate.

"Stupid Malfoy," Ron said out loud as he walked to the eighth year common room. The eighth year students had all been sequestered here in this section of Hogwarts, forced to intermingle with their shared common room, kitchen and bath. Ron liked the attention he got from this new pool of housemates that marveled at his exploits with Harry and Hermione. There were always a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff around that wanted to hear more about one of the Horcruxes, or the tale of when they took on Death Eaters and narrowly escaped death themselves. Of course, Hermione corrected him when he started to embellish, but she knew how much he liked to tell a story.

The problem was the Slytherins. Although they were all rooming with past members of other houses, they tended to stay together and sulk quietly. Hermione asked Ron to imagine what it would be like to be on the losing side of a battle and then be forced to try and reconcile with the victors, and he tried to be sympathetic. He'd gone out of his way to be polite; he had invited the Slytherins to join in games of Exploding Snap, tried to engage them in conversation at the eighth year table in the Great Hall, and even offered to rub Pansy Parkinson's shoulders when she complained of being tired after a long day of carrying her own books. Pansy politely declined because she knew that Hermione's Stinging Hex was not worth the risk.

"Good Morning, Master Ron, would you be wanting some breakfast now?"

Ron startled as he noticed the house-elf in the kitchen. Winky had been assigned to take care of the eighth year kitchen, acting almost as a short order cook for the students that wanted to take their meals in the dormitory rather than go down to the Great Hall. It was one of the few perks they had, as Winky was a delicious cook.

"Maybe later Winky, thank you, it's a little early for me to eat yet," Ron said.

"Master Ron, are you well?" Winky replied, worried that she was unable to tempt him with food.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just still sleepy. Draco woke me up early." Ron smiled to let the house-elf know that everything was ok.

"Oh that Master Draco is something else," Winky said smiling. "He is always having breakfast with Winky after taking one of the young ladies back to their rooms. They love Master Draco." Winky chuckled as she wiped out a glass, almost looking like a tiny bartender, albeit with enormous, bat-like ears.

"Tell me about it. I have to share a room with him," Ron said, padding across to the door of the bathroom.

The eighth year's bathroom was the stuff of legend. Unlike the prefect's bath on the fifth floor, the eighth years had a co-ed bathroom. Everyone was a little hesitant about sharing a bath at first. Millicent Bulstrode had even gone as far as to complain about it to Headmistress McGonagall, to no effect. McGonagall had said that the Ministry wanted them all to live together, and this bathroom would do perfectly well.

Walking in the door, Ron saw that no one was at the sinks. There was a row of about ten porcelain basins, each in front of a giant mirror. There were bottles and creams and lotions stacked everywhere on the counters. At first everyone kept their own little stashes of cosmetics, cleansers and soaps, but over the months, the students became lazy and just left them in the bathroom. There was plenty of room, and it wasn't unusual to see Lavender and Pansy sharing mascara, or Seamus or Terry Boot borrowing each other's shaving cream.

Ron went into one of the enchanted stalls and relieved himself. The silencing and ventilating charms were a blessing, especially after a long weekend in Hogsmeade. Ron couldn't count the number of times that he had been startled seeing Gregory Goyle crawling out of a stall after power drinking the night before. Ron was always a little shy to go in the stalls when girls were present, but over time, like the other students, he had become used to it.

The girls had a bank of individual showers and the boys shared one giant room. The boys felt that they had the better facility as they frequently turned all the shower heads to scalding hot and plugged the vents, turning their area into a giant steam room, perfect for relaxing with some cold Butterbeers. When Ron left his stall, he heard someone turning on the taps for the bath. Like the prefect's bath, the eighth years had a giant pool for relaxing. Most students wore swimsuits, but there were several Slytherins that went nude while in the pool for shock value.

Ron washed his hands quietly and decided it was worth a look.

He knew no one was aware he was in the bathroom since he had been in the silenced stall when they came in, so he snuck around the long way to get a glimpse of the bathing pool. The fountains of water were magically filling the pool with a multicoloured bubble bath, and two girls were taking off their robes. Ron shivered with anticipation as he watched Cho Chang and Pansy hang their robes on the wall hooks. They were not talking as they walked nude over to the stairs leading into the pool.

Ron was surprised that they would be here together. It was early. Why would these two be meeting for a bath, and why was Cho naked? He noticed that Cho seemed a little shy about her body as she made her way into the pool. She was slender and smooth, with narrow hips and small breasts. Her long black hair was in a bun, showing off her slender neck. The steam from the pool was already gathering on the fine hairs of her body and Ron was drawn to the fact that she was completely shaven. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she waded into the water, looking back at Pansy.

If Cho was shy, Pansy was the exact opposite. A sexual match for Malfoy, Pansy was the least dressed member of the eighth year house. It was not unusual to find her at breakfast in only a thong and t-shirt, her unusually large (magically augmented, Hermione said) breasts showcased for all the boys to see. None of the boys ever complained, but the girls would always groan as she sat with them, stealing all the attention. It was nothing new to see Pansy naked in the pool, but it was new to see her moving to sit so close to Cho.

Ron thought Cho and Pansy seemed awfully familiar to be soaping each other up like that. They were washing each other's torsos and using plenty of soap, Pansy using long strokes to lather Cho from the nape of her neck down towards her chest.

It was at this point that Ron realized that Pansy and Cho were talking to each other quietly, for he could not hear them. That meant that someone had cast a Muffliato charm. He knew instantly that he was in trouble, as the expert at that spell was his girlfriend, Hermione Granger.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: _The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling, Scholastic and WB. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story._

_Many thanks to AnneM for agreeing to be my Beta._

**Chapter Two**

Hermione woke early every morning. The quiet of early morning gave her time to study and have time for reflection, away from people asking her questions about class work or the Golden Trio's defeat of Voldemort. Her roommates slept much later than she, so she usually used the common room for her work. As she gathered her white, plush robe that her parents brought her back from the Raffles Hotel in Singapore, and slipped on her fuzzy bunny slippers, she looked around at her sleeping roommates. Although she wouldn't have chosen these roommates, she respected their space.

Millicent Bulstrode, snoring lightly in her four-poster, was rude to Hermione initially, but once they understood each other and that there were no reasons to fight anymore, they reached an accord and were actually pleasant to each other. Cho Chang was pleasant, but very, very quiet. Something seemed to break in her as the death of Cedric Diggory still weighed on her. Also, after Harry told her there was no spark between her and him, and suggested that perhaps she would never find another boyfriend. After all, if Harry hadn't been able to excite her, who could?

As Hermione glanced at Parvati's empty bed, she thought how this one was another story altogether. When they were in school, except for Hermione's disdain of Divination, Parvati and Hermione got along well. Something had happened to Parvati after the defeat of Voldemort, and to say that she went off the deep end was an understatement. Hermione was initially concerned about the change in Parvati; the constant detentions for uniform violations, getting caught snogging random boys behind statues and inside abandoned classrooms, and spending the night out and sneaking back to their room in the very early morning hours. She just figured that Parvati was recovering from the constant fear that she and her family felt during the war, and had some things to get out of her system. As long as she was using contraceptive charms, Hermione thought, there should be no long term effects.

Hermione tiptoed down the stairs to the empty common room and put her books on a table in the back corner. She went into the kitchen and made herself a quick cup of tea. When she started back for her table, she heard a small pop as Winky Apparated into the kitchen area.

"Good morning, Miss Hermione, and how are you today?" Winky asked. Hermione and Winky were close as they spent each morning together and had had many discussions about elfish welfare and whether there were any benefits to freeing all house-elves or not.

"I'm feeling great Winky, thank you for asking. I have an essay in Advanced Arithmancy that I hope to finish this morning," Hermione replied, genuinely looking forward to getting Professor Vector's exercise off of her plate. "Ron has promised to take me into Hogsmeade tonight, and I want to make sure that I don't have any distractions."

Hermione beamed as she thought about her romance with Ron and how quickly they had made up for lost time since Ron's kiss during the battle of Hogwarts. She had to admit, as a healthy teenager she would have liked Ron to be more aggressive; showing some remnants of that passion Hermione felt in their first kiss. She was frustrated that they were still just kissing, but with each date she hoped that Ron would go a little further.

"Ah, you and Master Ron are quite the couple," Winky smiled as she started cleaning silverware. "Winky is a little surprised that you still find Master Ron so enchanting."

"What do you mean, Winky? Ron's my boyfriend and we're meant to be together." Hermione started to pout; how dare Winky imply that she didn't think Ron was simply wonderful?

"Winky is begging your pardon, Miss Hermione, but you are so smart and thoughtful, Winky thought that by now you would be tired of hearing about Quidditch. Master Ron is very nice, but Winky is thinking that you could find someone who is more, suited, to you." Winky smiled almost deceptively, looking for a second like a very old matchmaker, but with bat-like ears.

"Well, Winky, you seem to know best. Who would you say is more "suited" to me?" Hermione decided that there was no reason to be upset at the diminutive elf, and maybe, just maybe, she did have a point.

"Winky is thinking that there are two good matches for you, Miss Hermione, but Winky is not sure which one is best." Winky looked knowingly at Hermione as she spoke. "Master Ron needs too much taking care of, Miss Hermione, and Winky would hate to see you spend all your time cleaning up after him." Winky gently nodded her head along with Hermione. "However, Master Draco knows how to look after himself."

"Draco Malfoy?" Hermione couldn't believe what she had just heard. "You think that Draco Malfoy would be a good match for me? He represents everything that I loathe! He sleeps around, he's rude and insensitive, and was a Death Eater. He even carries the Dark Mark! Out in the open!"

Winky bowed her head slightly and smiled. "Winky thinks that there isn't much he can do about that mark is there? With no more Voldemort, there are no more Death Eaters, and besides, Master Draco did change sides during the last battle."

"Well that was just to save his own skin," Hermione replied, feeling smug.

"That may be one of the best reasons of all," Winky reasoned. She picked up another piece of silverware and continued, "Master Draco cares for his family above all else. He is very sad that his parents are in Azkaban. Why else do you think that he is looking for comfort in the arms of those other girls?"

"I think it's because he's a man-whore," Hermione stated, still shocked that her friend Winky would be opening up to her like this.

"Winky thinks there is more to Master Draco than meets the eye. Perhaps you should be giving him another look."

"Okay, okay," Hermione chuckled, "who's the other one you picked out for me? Maybe we'll have better luck with him?"

"Winky sees how hard you work on school and taking care of other people." Hermione rolled her eyes as Winky put in this jab against Ron again. "There is one other that works as hard as you do. Master Neville."

Hermione froze for a second, and then shook her head to make sure that she heard the old elf correctly. "You think that Neville and I would be a good match?"

"Winky has watched Master Neville grow up over the years, and he has changed in many ways. He has always been a hard worker, trying to overcome anything that he thought was a defect. Winky thinks he is just about finished."

Hermione thought about all the things that Neville had worked on from his first awkward moments at Hogwarts, learning how to dance for the Yule Ball, mastering protection charms in Dumbledore's Army and leading the resistance against the Carrow's reign of terror on Hogwarts last year. Winky was right, he had changed. Maybe Hermione should take a closer look.

"Well thank you very much Winky. I'll give your advice further consideration." Hermione shook Winky's hand and then left to go sit at her table in the far corner.

A few minutes later, Hermione was surprised to see Ron sleepily walk into the common room, talking to himself. She thought about calling out to him, but instead she merely watched. Could Winky be right? Had she rushed into a relationship with him, when there would be better matches out there?

While Ron and Winky exchanged some conversation about food, Hermione thought about Ron's non-stop appetite and atrocious table manners. Come to think of it, Draco did have perfect manners and was much more put together. He would never be seen in the common room dressed so…wrinkled. _Wait, but this was Ron!_ Hermione thought. She loved him. How could she have doubts after waiting so long for him to admit his love for her? Come to think of it, why did it take him so long?

As Ron left for the bathroom, Hermione thought it odd that Winky did not mention that she was sitting there. Even odder was the fact that Cho Chang and Pansy Parkinson descended into the common room at that moment. What in the world were they doing taking a shower so early?

Hermione stood to go into the bathroom herself, when she was faced with Draco Malfoy and Parvati Patel coming down the stairs from the boys dormitory. Draco looked striking in black silk pajama pants and an open, matching robe. Hermione was stunned by his muscular tone and impressive abdominal muscles. She always thought of Draco defined by his arrogance. She never considered what his chest looked like before now. Parvati looked almost like she had been Stupefied, but Hermione figured that Draco had put her in that state through simple physical exertion.

"Well good morning, Granger, fancy meeting you here," Draco said as he helped Parvati over to the girls' staircase.

Draco wasn't smirking as he normally did; he was full-on smiling, which caught Hermione off guard. Coupled with the fact that he seemed to be escorting a tousled Parvati to her side of the dormitory, that smile really confused her. What was going on with Malfoy these days? She realized that the two of them had not exchanged two sentences since school started, yet they had almost all of their classes together.

"Malfoy," Hermione started, and then realized that for once she was at a loss for words.

Hermione and Draco stared at each other for a moment before Winky broke the silence. "Would Master Draco care for some breakfast?"

"Yes Winky, I'll have whatever Miss Granger's having, please." Draco said.

"Draco Malfoy says please? What is the world coming to?" Hermione laughed.

"Stranger things have happened, Granger. Maybe you should be paying attention," Draco replied after accepting a cup of tea from Winky.

"Maybe I should," Hermione said, suddenly remembering why she had left her table in the first place. Ron was in the bathroom alone with Cho and Pansy.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: _The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling, Scholastic and WB. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story._

**Chapter Three**

Hermione excused herself and left Draco and Winky in the common room. She quietly entered the bathroom and heard the bath water running. Ron was in here with Cho and Pansy, and yet someone was running a bath? Hermione knew that this was not going to end well.

A door separated the sink area from the pool, with a small window high up in the frame. Using her tiptoes, Hermione hoisted herself up so that she could stare through the small window. She saw Pansy and Cho undressing to get in the pool.

In a disapproving tone, Hermione whispered, "Cho!" She expected nudity from Pansy, but Cho was different. Embarrassed, Hermione turned away from the door and started to look for Ron. There was no reason to look for him in the stalls as they were charmed to prevent entry, and no sound could go in or out. She decided to see if he'd gone around to the pool access near the showers.

As she looked around the corner, she saw Ron '_leering_' at Cho and Pansy. He even had his hand on his crotch _for Heaven's sake_. Hermione was bombarded with several different emotions as she watched him holding his raging erection.

First, she felt _shame - _shame for Ron being such a teenage boy and for getting excited by looking at naked girls. Second, she felt _repulsion – _repulsionthat he would be as coarse as to touch himself while looking at two classmates. Finally, she felt _regret _- regret that he never got this aroused when they were together.

Hermione cast a wandless Muffliato charm and prepared to give Ron a lecture worthy of one of Molly Weasley's howlers, but at the last minute, she changed her mind. Ron slowly turned to face her as he realized that a charm had been cast.

Ron smiled miserably as Hermione said calmly, "Good Morning, Ronald."

Ron knew that was in big trouble. Hermione never called him 'Ronald' unless she was upset. And here he was, staring at two naked, bathing beauties, while actually holding his own swollen member. "Um, good morning?" Ron felt like a fool trying to make his erection not so noticeable. Right now, that was quite a feat.

"Seems as if you have your hands full," Hermione challenged, staring directly at his crotch.

"Listen, Hermione, it isn't what you think. I came in here to go to the bathroom, and when I came out of the stall, I heard the water running, I thought I'd check to see what was going on, and I stumbled upon this." Ron explained feebly, taking a few steps toward her.

"Whoa mister," Hermione said dramatically, waving him back with one hand while pretending to cover her eyes with the other. "I thought you said you weren't ready to take our relationship to _that_ level."

"Hermione, you know I'm crazy about you. I just need to be a good role model for Ginny. I don't want her to get any of the wrong ideas," Ron pleaded, looking victimized as usual.

"You mean you don't want her to tell your parents we're having sex. You're terrified to face them, and that astounds me, Ron. After all that we've been through, all that we've done, you're afraid to have sex with me because your mother might find out?" Hermione turned away in a fury. They'd had this conversation before, and after many frustrating sessions with Ron, she felt badly being the aggressor and pushing him to have sex if he wasn't ready. She wondered what was the matter with him? Didn't he want her? How could he get this 'hard' looking at Cho and Pansy and not when snogging with her?

Hermione was doubly furious at Ginny for being forced to keep her secrets. She wondered what Molly Weasley would think about the fact that her perfect little _Head_ _Girl_ was accurately named. Ginny and Harry had spilled all the details of their relationship after Hermione caught them "pleasing" each other at the Burrow this summer. Sworn to secrecy, she regretted it even more when she realized that Ron used Ginny's imagined innocence as another reason not to have sex with her.

"Ron, don't you want me?" Hermione faced him, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Of course I do, Hermione. We just have to wait a while, that's all," Ron explained as he came closer to hold her. Hermione felt him becoming flaccid, and pushed him away. So it wasn't her imagination - he wasn't turned on by her.

"You make me insane, Ronald!" Hermione removed her Muffliato charm and the sounds of the bath returned.

"I hope that's a good thing." Ron said weakly.

"Don't be so sure," Hermione mumbled as she walked away. Hermione entered one of the enchanted stalls and screamed her head off in anger, frustration and guilt.

Ron hurried out of the bathroom and almost ran into Draco. No words were exchanged, only glares as they stepped out of each other's way. Draco gallantly held the door for Ron to exit, as he was glad to be alone with Hermione.

When Draco entered the bathroom, he realized that Hermione had to be in one of the enchanted stalls, because he couldn't hear her voice. Though he found her intelligence attractive, and her physical appearance had grown on him over the years, her constant chatter still gave him pause. The noise from the bath caught his attention, and he looked through the small window in the door. Pansy and Cho, covered in foam, were kissing in the water. Draco took in the appealing visage for a few moments and decided to act.

Draco and Pansy had been friends since childhood and had actually pursued a relationship. They separated as friends, but they still occasionally found themselves entwined with each other after a long night in Hogsmeade. He had no reservations about getting into the bath with Pansy, but he didn't know what Cho would think about it. It looked like Cho "played for the other team", so shocking her should be interesting. Draco thought, _'Hell,_ _I need to clean off anyway_.'

Meanwhile, composed after screaming and crying, Hermione wasn't sure she felt like finishing her essay this morning. She also wasn't sure she felt like going into the village with Ron either. She wondered, '_What would it be like not being with Ron_?' She and Harry had not been as close this year as he spent all of his free time with Ginny, and Hermione had immersed herself in her schoolwork. She found that she missed him. It was easier helping Ron with his studies, then to have to help them both. Maybe if she broke it off with Ron, she could have even more time to study and read. Opening the stall door, Hermione straightened out her bathrobe and froze. In front of her was a very naked, completely stunning, Draco Malfoy.

"What the hell, Granger?" Draco exclaimed as he noticed her standing frozen in front of him.

Hermione didn't move a muscle. She was standing as though she had been petrified. Normally Draco would have been a little self-conscious, but seeing Hermione so shocked at the sight of his body gave him a thrill. He walked slowly over to her and put both of his hands on her shoulders. She shivered and snapped out of her trance. Her eyes stopped their perusal of his body and stared directly into his eyes.

"Draco, you're naked." Hermione looked into Draco's eyes, too scared to look at the rest of him, already realizing that the image would be burned into her mind forever.

"You have a keen grasp of the obvious, Hermione. Since when did we stop using each other's surnames?" He pushed a wisp of her curly brown hair over her ear and ran his hand gently down her neck. _Gods, she was beautiful_. He felt himself getting hard and saw that Hermione glanced down, and had noticed it too.

"I guess now, since it is obvious that there's some connection between us." Although still shocked, Hermione was very pleased that _someone_ actually found her physically appealing.

"I've a connection in mind that I'd like to make." Draco slowly edged her towards the stall again, and added, "And now seems like a perfect time." He kissed her. It was impulsive, daring, and realized it might cost him a hex in his future, but he couldn't control himself around her. Just for a moment, they seemed to meld into each other, connecting on a primary, almost animal level. Draco pulled Hermione into an embrace and she felt him press against her. Putting all animosity aside, they wanted the other as they had never wanted anyone else.

The sound of the door to the pool opened and Cho and Pansy's laughter caused Hermione to pull away from Draco's kiss. Hermione didn't understand what Draco was doing. Was he just standing there pretending to be invisible? Pansy and Cho both stopped talking and Hermione stopped looking at Draco's naked body to smile feebly at them both. The girls stared back at Hermione, studied Draco's naked posterior, and quietly left the bathroom. After the door closed, Draco relaxed and looked up at Hermione. They both knew that their moment had passed, but they also knew that there was electricity in that kiss that they couldn't deny.

"Winky was right," Hermione laughed, "I should look more closely at Master Draco."

"She said that about me? How flattering. Well, here you go; you can't get a much closer look than this!" Draco laughed and turned slowly on the spot to show Hermione his body. Gathering his clothes from the floor, he laughed again and quickly donned his robe.

"What were you doing when the girls came in? Pretending to be invisible?"

Draco responded, "I was wishing I were, yes."

"Would you act that way if people caught us together in public?"

Draco pulled her into another embrace, put his lips so close to her ear that his breath sent chills down her spine and said, "Try me." He then walked into the boys shower to turn on the coldest water it would supply.

Floored by the series of events, Hermione examined everything that had just occurred. Her boyfriend rejected her sexual advances and didn't seem to find her physically attractive, while her sworn enemy had given her the most sensual kiss of her life and was obviously attracted to her, as well as had the most beautiful male body she'd ever seen. _What was a girl to do?_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: _The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling, Scholastic and WB. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story._

_Many thanks to AnneM for agreeing to be my Beta._

**Chapter 4**

"You know what, Winky?" Ron said as he approached the old house-elf in the kitchen, "I think I'll have something to eat after all." Ron loved to eat, and he didn't have any trouble meeting the two required meals in the Great Hall per day. Some of the female eighth years complained about it. In Ron's mind, they probably needed to eat under supervision to make sure that they ate any food at all. As he looked over at Pansy, who was reading the notice board with a mug of tea in her hand, he thought that while she did look pretty when naked, she could stand to eat a little more.

"Very good, very good, Master Ron," the house-elf replied. "May I suggest a special sausage breakfast?"

"I guess so, sure, whatever," Ron replied off- handedly. He didn't notice the smirk on Winky's face as she turned to prepare his food. In an instant, it was ready: two giant, pale Bratwursts smothered in delicious looking onions and peppers, with an egg and potato scramble accompanying it on a huge plate as well as an unusually large fork. Ron tucked in, spearing one of the wieners, bringing it up to his mouth.

At that moment, Hermione emerged from the bathroom, only to witness Ron blissfully chewing on an onion smothered, pale sausage, which dangled disgustedly from his mouth. She stood there utterly repulsed at the sight of his table manners, coupled with the extremely phallic sausage dangling out of his mouth. _This is it,_ she thought. _I will remember this as the moment I stopped loving Ron._

A shriek of laughter erupted from the far side of the common room as Pansy gestured towards Ron with her mug of tea. "Hey Granger, your boyfriend looks comfortable with a great cock in his mouth. Maybe that's why you're not getting any!"

Hermione cringed as she wondered how Pansy knew about Ron and her nonexistent sex life. There was no way that she was going to let Pansy get away with making fun of Ron. He had said that he was trying to be honorable by waiting to have sex, even though she didn't necessarily believe him. She felt especially guilty since she had just considered shagging Pansy's ex-boyfriend.

"Well, Parkinson," Hermione started, "for your information, what goes on between Ron and me is none of your business." She walked over to face down the Slytherin and said quietly, "You've certainly had a fair share of cocks in _your_ mouth, and it doesn't seem to hurt your chances with the ladies."

Pansy blanched and backed down, taking her tea with her as she headed towards the girl's tower. Ron wiped his mouth, looking sheepishly as she passed. Hermione thought that standing up for him was the right thing to do, but telling him that they were over would be so much easier if he did actually turn out to be gay. At least then, he couldn't blame her for falling for such a gorgeous man.

"Hermione, you want some breakfast?" Ron patted the seat next to him.

"No thank you, Ronald," Hermione said as she walked over to her books on her table in the corner. "I want to work on my essay and I'd like to be alone." She held her hand up towards him, indicating that she had ended their conversation and he should stay away. Seeing that sign before, Ron knew it was best to keep his distance.

Hermione sat at her table and opened her parchment. She couldn't think of a single thing to write. _What happened here this morning? I've fallen out of love with Ron, and I've kissed a naked Draco. What could be next?_

At that moment, the door to the common room opened and Hermione and Ron watched as Neville Longbottom entered. He stopped, as surprised as they were, obviously planning to return to the tower before the rest of the students were awake. He looked first at Ron, then over towards Hermione's table, and then went over to sit with Ron at the counter.

Hermione noticed that Neville was disheveled, looking as if he'd slept in his clothes. His hair was a mess, and it looked like there was blood on his shirt collar. Looking closer, Hermione noticed that it wasn't blood, but _lipstick!_ Naturally very inquisitive, Hermione had worked hard in her years at Hogwarts to refrain from constantly asking questions in order not to annoy her classmates. They were already unhappy with her title of "the brightest witch of her age" and her raising her hand first in every class.

It wasn't unusual for her to remind herself not to be nosy, but in this case, she had to _restrain_ herself from marching over to Neville, to find out what had happened. The way that Ron and Neville were whispering made her even more suspicious. Nodding his head while he and Neville were talking in hushed tones, Hermione felt that Ron seemed familiar with Neville's situation. Her mind raced to the conclusion that Neville had just returned from sleeping somewhere else, and Ron was keeping secrets from her.

Ron and Neville both turned towards Hermione as she walked towards them, and they seemed to shrink in their seats. With fear in their eyes, they smiled weakly, and Ron tried to pretend that he was eating, when in reality he was just stuffing food in his mouth so that he wouldn't have to speak. _Typical._

"Neville," Hermione said, placing her hands on her hips and looking very threatening in her bathrobe and slippers, "Where on earth have you been?"

Neville ran his hands through his hair, reminding Hermione of Harry Potter when he was nervous. Neville looked around the empty common room and said, "I've been…out."

"Obviously you've been out. I want to know where you've been, what you've been doing, and what part _Ronald_ is playing in all of this?" She looked over at Ron who couldn't hold another sautéed onion in his mouth if his life depended on it.

"Listen Hermione," Neville began, "it wasn't my fault. Things got out of hand. I didn't know that she would go this far, it was just supposed to be fun, you know?"

"No Neville, I actually don't know."

"That's a first." Ron managed to mumble through a mouthful of sausage, smiling, then instantly regretting the joke.

"More sausage, Master Ron?" Winky piped up, glancing fleetingly at Hermione who simply rolled her eyes.

"Winky, I think that Ron has had enough, don't you?" Hermione looked at Ron to indicate her displeasure.

"Yeah, I'm full." Ron lied.

"Go on Neville," Hermione urged, "You were saying?"

"Madame Rosmerta"

"You mean Professor Rosmerta?" Hermione corrected. After the death of Professor Burbage, the post of Professor of Muggle Studies had remained vacant, and not easy to fill. Fortunately, Madam Rosmerta was familiar with many things, including the ways of Muggles. After the final battle, The Three Broomsticks had been severely damaged, so there was no reason to reopen it. For that reason, she had agreed to teach Muggle Studies, and in Hermione's opinion, had actually done a good job of promoting tolerance.

"What about Rosmerta?"

Neville stared at his shoes.

"You were with Professor Rosmerta?" Hermione was stunned. She turned around and began to pace back and forth. She stared hard at Winky, who by the shriveled look on the house-elf's face, did not actually know everything about Neville. "Neville, how could you? Rosmerta is a teacher; you could put her job in jeopardy."

Neville continued staring downward. "I wouldn't tell anyone. Besides I wasn't the only one." He looked up at Ron.

Hermione shot Ron a look that would have burned a hole through dragon hide. "Oh, no! Ron, you better tell me that there's no bloody way this is true!"

Now it was Ron's turn to stare at his shoes.

"I can't believe it! All this time I thought I was waiting for you; waiting for you to get up the nerve to have sex with me. I thought that there was something wrong with me." Hermione took a deep breath to hold back the oncoming tears. She looked at Neville and didn't care if he or anyone else heard the truth. She saw that Winky had both hands on the counter and was giving her undivided attention. "I was waiting for you, even though I have been _unbelievably _frustrated!"

"Hermione, I'm sorry, but…" Ron started to explain, but it was obvious that he was just clutching at straws.

"Shut up, Ron!" Hermione stamped her bunny slippered foot on the ground. "After all we've been through together, all those years of waiting for you to ask me out, to kiss me, to have sex with me; then to find out that you've been a liar and cheat? You've been shagging Rosmerta! Ronald, you are a complete…" Hermione was red in the face, ready to explode when she heard the voice from right behind her.

"A complete prick?" Draco drawled.

Hermione turned on her heel to face Draco, fresh from the shower, who had been standing behind her the whole time. She stared up at him, looking into his eyes as tears welled up in her own. She thought, _Merlin, he is beautiful._

Draco looked at this brilliant, lovely woman who had just been unbelievably wronged by one of the biggest prats he knew. Here she was in a bathrobe, wearing ridiculous slippers, crying, embarrassed in front of these two wankers, and all he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss her again. _How did that happen? _

Resting his hand gently on her shoulder, he glanced at Ron for a heartbeat and then said, "Weasel, I believe that you and Hermione are officially _over_." He looked deep into Hermione's eyes and told her, "Hermione, I would be honored if you'd have dinner tonight with me in Hogsmeade."

Hermione smiled up at Draco, wiped her tears with the sleeve of her bathrobe and said, "I would love that."

The four classmates stood in silence for a moment. Ron had turned purple from the frustration of not knowing what to say. Neville looking stunned. Draco and Hermione were looking at each other and holding hands, not wanting to let go, but knowing that they needed to get ready for classes.

The silence was finally broken by Winky.

"Miss Hermione?" the house-elf put an ancient goblet on the counter with what looked like steaming liquid gold in it.

"What is this, Winky?" Hermione asked as she reached between Ron and Neville to retrieve the goblet. It smelled like lemon and rosemary, and although steam was coming off it, it wasn't warm at all. She had never seen a potion like this before.

"Contraceptive potion," Winky said with a conspiratorial smile.

Ron and Neville's mouths dropped open as Hermione said, "Thank you, I don't mind if I do," and drained the goblet in one drink. She put the goblet back on the counter, glared at Ron and then turned to face Draco. With a smile she said, "Draco, I'll see you tonight," and then she went to gather her things and left up the staircase to the girl's dormitory.

Draco laughed out loud. It was one of the few times he could remember really laughing freely, not caring whether people knew his true feelings or not. He was finally free of whatever burden the Dark Lord had put on him and his family, and he was happy. He bowed towards Winky as he said, "Winky, I can't thank you enough."

"Master Draco, you are certainly welcome," the house-elf replied as she started cleaning another glass. She watched Draco ascend the boy's staircase, noticing that he seemed to have had a weight lifted from his shoulders. She then looked at Ron and Neville, and with a pleasant smile asked, "Would either of you young masters like more sausage?"


End file.
